In some ways, the proposal is bigger than the
wedding itself. No pressure, but your life hangs
in the balance. So, here are 10 rules of Popping
the Question right!
Unlike your favourite video game, there is no
"reset" button after you take certain steps in
your life. For example, when you ask your
ladylove to marry you. You can NEVER undo
that moment.
Truth is, most of your engagement has a reset
button. Not the proposal. You can't undo it.
The stakes couldn't be higher. Assuming she
accepts, she'll describe every detail
salad dressing to the roses to the way your
voice quivered--again and again to everyone
she has ever met. She'll blog it. Facebook it.
Twitter it. Even Instagram it!
In some ways, the proposal is bigger than the
wedding itself. No pressure, but your life hangs
in the balance. Follow these 10 rules of Popping
the Question for a favourable outcome:
1. YOU SHOULDN'T BE SURPRISED: Like a
good lawyer, don't ask the question unless
you know the answer. And if you don't
know the answer, consider whether you've
given your courtship enough time. (Hint:
you haven't.)
2. ...BUT SHE SHOULD: You must surprise her.
That's the game. If you talked about getting
married last week, then when you say,
"Hey. Um. I was thinking...maybe we could
go on a hot-air balloon ride together. My
buddies were saying it's fun," there's a
decent chance that she'll crack your code.
Keep your cards close to your chest. Don't
tell too many friends. Lie (if you must).
3. ONLY GO PUBLIC IF YOU'RE ABSOLUTELY
SURE: If there's any uncertainty, popping
the question in front of 16,000 football fans
could either: (1) be the most humiliating
moment of your life; or (2) force her to
croak out a "yes" that she (and you) will
later regret. In any event, think very, very
hard before making a public proposal.
Unless it's a Royals, Indians, or A's game,
where the hundreds of fans present won't
care.
4. PERSONALIZE: This helps you dodge clichés.
As much as you might be tempted to go to
www.800uniqueproposalideas.com, there
is nothing unique about them. You already
know everything you need for a memorable
proposal. Think about her interests and
then tailor your proposal accordingly. It
shows that you actually know her, love her,
get her. If she's a tree-hugging outdoors
freak, then incorporate a hike, camping
trip, or hide it in her bowl of veggies.
(Kidding on the veggies, which brings us
to...)
5. GUARD THE RING LIKE IT'S YOUR
PRECIOUS: No brainer, right? But it's
shocking how many guys hatch some bold,
creative plan that ends up with the ring lost
in garbage. Plan nothing that risks the
rock. There's a fine line between creativity
and stupidity. Don't go near that line.
6. TAKE A KNEE: Sounds corny? Maybe a little.
But by taking a knee, you fulfill the vision
that she's had since she was a very little
non-ironic girl. Also, her girlfriends will
specifically ask her whether you got down
on a knee. Let her answer the right way.
7. KEEP HEAVY EYE CONTACT: It shows you
mean it. It shows confidence. Lock onto her
eyes and never glance away. Just like in
poker, a nervous glance to the side is a "tell"
that could lose you the hand. (To clarify:
blinking won't cost you the "yes," but why
take chances?)
8. ACTUALLY HAVE A RING: Remember
Lumbergh from Office Space? Even though
he made good money and could easily afford
a ring, he didn't feel like waiting for the
jeweler, so he popped the question sans
diamond. His strategy? He printed out a
picture of a generic wedding ring--in black
and white, even--and scribbled "I.O.U." on
the paper. Yeah! Don't be Lombard. Bring
the loot.
9. PRACTICE: We can almost hear Allen
Iverson: "Practice? Practice?! We talkin'
about practice?!" Yes. Practice. Rehearse
your speech in advance. Look in the mirror.
Propose to your dog. Say it in the shower.
It's embarrassing and you'll feel like a
moron, but it'll give you more confidence in
the big moment.
0. THE SETTING TRUMPS SIZE: Ambiance is
key. It's better to have an outdoor,
intimate, candlelit picnic than a lavish,
$600 dinner at a "hot new restaurant" that
blares hip-hop. It can be pricey or cheap,
small or big, private or public, but the
atmosphere must brim with romance. We're
often wary of the "cheese factor" and shy
away from roses and their ilk. But not here.
Guess what? In a marriage, if you're given 10
rules that really means you have (at least) 11.
So here's one more:
RELAX: We know. This seems like a
paradox. But as long as you've thought this
through--planned things to a T, ensured
she'll say yes, practiced in the shower
you'll be fine. For real. Don't worry about
stuttering or sweating or flubbing the lines.
Even if you stumble over your words and
have pit-stains like Ted Striker from
Airplane, don't worry, she'll find it
endearing. That said, wear an undershirt.
AFTER "YES" This is it. This is the one
moment that belongs only to you and your
future wife. Make it last. This is one of the
most intimate memories that you will ever
share with anyone, anytime, anywhere.
This is the calm before the storm, the slice
of tranquility before you make 200 calls to
the family, friends, and vendors. It's the
final truly quiet moment until your
wedding. Savour it.
No comments:
Post a Comment